Somewhere in the Fog

I was lost and trying to get home
There was a heavy cool thickness clouding visibility
Silhouettes walked out of the dark greyness into the light that surrounded my every step and
People, and faces peering out through the windblown thickness of the fog
Each looking at me as if I knew what to do
Their faces pleading, “take me with you”

In all this fog I knew I was lost, but couldn’t remember my name and who to know
Wracking my thoughts and there in my mind where memories flow
They flowed like heaviness and hid like shadows on a street while walking in the night, there, were dark weighted thoughts
Lost, loss
Where do I go?

No name, no face, just trying to find my place
I saw these eyes catch me
Eyes of a man, eyes of a grandpa a dear kind face
I looked at this grandpa as he came through the heavy fog and into my light
Dear grandpa old man, can you help me go home?
He looked at me with his a dear kind, sweet wrinkled grey face
Grandpa with tears in his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks said “my dear little daughter you are on your way, daughter we here, we all cry the same tears, we cry the same way, my dear little daughter you are not lost”

I continued to walk and I walked looking at silhouettes of houses and dogs, children at play
I walked through the fog I felt so lost
So I ran
Ran so hard and so far as my girl legs could take me
Running through the dark fog tunnel that chased me
Through the spinning grey clouds I stopped with a force
A smile caught me, stopping me suddenly off course
A smile of a friend, maybe someone I know
Another dear kind face
A smile that belonged to a man who seemed to be wise
A man who was on his way somewhere beyond these times
Dear man can you help me, I am lost and I’m trying to get home
He looked at me with a dear kind, sweet face
His dark eyes glimmered with hope
He smiled that calming smile and looked me in the eyes as my heart warmed with love
He said “my dear sister you are on your way, sister we here, we all smile the same way, my dear sister you are not lost”

On my way I continued to walk
My path felt alone but I didn’t feel scared
The fog was still heavy as I journeyed along
Running and walking till my shoes wore down
I searched into my heart and felt the loss
I was lost could not find no mind, no name, no face
I pondered these things as the fog made a clearing
My light found a bench so I sat in that place
As I sat and I wondered, a silhouette moved closer
A woman was coming, clearer as she came over
A woman who seemed to know me, another dear kind, sweet face
Dear miss I ask, can you help me go home?
Her dark eyes glimmered, her long hair flowed
She sat down beside me and took my hand into hers
She looked at me with smiling eyes, and her dear kind, sweet face
She said “dear little mother you are on your way, here we all age, we all age the same way, my dear little mother you are not lost”

She left me there, and I sat for a while
The fog seemed to clear as I stepped away from the bench
I followed a path that seemed familiar
I walked along as the fog lifted
Brighter the light that followed me shown
A fast silhouette made itself known
There in the fog, a little boy ran through
He came right up to me and hugged my side
He smiled and laughed and I could feel my heart grow in size
Little boy little boy you stopped for me
Please little boy, do you know who I am? I seem to be lost and cannot find my way
Little boy can you help me, help me go home?
He looked at me with his big wonder filled eyes, he held my hands and looked at me with his little  dear kind, sweet face
“Grandma, you are on your way” said the boy “just keep coming through, here we all are and we all follow you. Your home is just up ahead, with a great tree in the front there is food and drink and a nice warm bed
Family is there waiting, if you want I can run ahead”

I suddenly felt the fog as it began to lift
My thoughts and my heart seemed less weighted, more clear
I still had some questions as he held my hand
Little boy little boy “Can you tell me my name?”
With big eyes and a grin, his little hand held tight as he looked at me with a dear kind, sweet face
“Grandma, I do not know your name,” softly said the boy “but I know you’re the one Grandmother, the one who makes the path
You are who you are and you do what you do
Because of light in your spirit and the warmth of your heart
In the words that you say and the path that you lay
We grandma, we will find our way

Thank you little man
I just needed to know
That here in this place, that I am not lost

Prairie Rose Seminole (Northern Cheyenne/Arikara) is an enrolled member of the Three Affiliated Tribes. Seminole majors in Native American Studies at Nueta Hidatsa Sahnish College and is active in the college’s All Chiefs Society. 

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